New Year’s Resolutions:  Five Tips to Make the Most of Them

By Barbara Flor, Ed.S., LPC

As we prepare for the New Year, many of us will declare one or more New Year’s Resolutions.  The rest of us will refuse to partake in this long-standing tradition, knowing that, statistically speaking, those resolutions are often abandoned by February 1, or earlier.

I am not one to make New Year’s Resolutions, but I understand the popularity of them.  The New Year provides us with a chance for positive experiences, hope that things can and will change for the better, and a feeling of optimism for the future.  Positive thinking, hope and optimism – all components of a more resilient life.

In general, resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity, to emerge from difficult times, not only intact, but also better and stronger from the experience. There is great clinical interest in helping children and adults develop resilience.  Likewise, there are many studies on how best to do this.

Below, I summarize five traits, which if acquired, are thought to help us develop a more resilient personality.  If you are making a resolution, you may want to base this year’s on one of the five traits.  You may also want to encourage your children to work towards building these traits as well.

1. Positive thinking – Is your glass half full, or half empty? Finding the positives in most situations is shown to increase happiness, lessen depression and helps you enjoy all life has to offer.  Who doesn’t want that?
2. Emotion regulation – Do you lose your temper easily and often?  Cry uncontrollably?  Do your emotions interfere with effective daily functioning and interpersonal relationships?  Learn and practice strategies to gain control of your emotions.  It can be done.
3. Healthy coping strategies – How do you react when things don’t go as planned? Do you let your anger get the best of you or are you able to stay calm and utilize strategies to help you navigate difficult situations?
4. Problem solving and conflict resolution skills – Are you an effective problem solver or do you act impulsively and make the situation worse?  Effective problem solving and conflict resolution can be taught and learned.  Make it a priority.
5. Support system – This is important, even if it consists of just one caring, stable person.  It’s crucial to have someone you can lean on, who you can go to when you’re going through a rough patch.  Do you have this in your life?  Could you be this person in someone else’s life?

Whether you decide to make a resolution or not, I wish you a very happy, healthy, resilient New Year!